Jeremy Corbyn is an utter bastard. But not only is he a bastard, he is also a threat to our national security. Voting for him in the next general election will condemn you and your children to a one-way ticket to nutjob-commy land, swamped by immigrants and benefit cheats. Here are five reasons why he is a threat to this glorious country.
1) He wants to get rid of Trident
Trident is a nuclear deterrent that we keep to make sure that nobody else has a nuclear weapon. The fact is that if Russia or North Korea or Iran or Antartica wants to nuke us they know they can't because we have a nuke as well. It's like playing Rock, Paper, Scissors, if they have a rock and we also have a rock they can't smash us into pieces. But if they don't have a rock and just have a pair scissors, then we have them exactly where we want them. Unless they have some paper...forget that metaphor, it doesn't really work. The fact is that while we've had trident we've not been nuked once. That's just a scientific fact. Why get rid of it? Is it because you hate Britain Jeremy?
2) He hates the Queen
Jeremy has made his hatred of the Queen well known. This was capped off when he couldn't even bring himself to wish the Queen well in the guise of our national anthem. When most normal people see the Queen they see a fragile woman who needs respect and honour for her services to this country. When Jeremy sees her he sees his first target for when he overthrows the state. I wouldn't be surprised if he advocates her public beheading on live TV. If this is how he treats old women, heaven knows what he'll do to the rest of us.
3) 'The people's Question Time'
One of the key platforms for the leader of the opposition is Prime Minister's Question Time where they can directly ask questions to the Prime Minister himself. Corbyn has decided to do away with formalities and get some plebs off the street to ask the questions. People like Dorothy from Shittington and Barry from Pissing-upon-Tweed. This sickens me as who can honestly guarantee that these people aren't murderers, rapists or drug-dealers? He is giving a platform to the undesirables in our society and that is not a good example to be setting is it?
4) His cab driver beats up journalists
Yesterday shocking footage of Corbyn's cabbie assaulting a cameraman emerged (you can find it by following this link: http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/video-news/video-jeremy-corbyns-taxi-driver-knocks-camera-to-the-ground-31528583.html). It is hard tell what exactly happened from the footage here but I have it on good authority that Corbyn's crony decked the poor, innocent cameraman with a solid right hook. He then set about the man with nunchucks and rusty nails before pulling out a metallic baseball bat from behind his passenger seat and laying waste his lower body. What kind of men does this troublemaker hang about with? Violent criminals that's who.
5) His name is Corbyn
Corbyn sounds a bit like the word 'combine'. 'Combine' sounds a bit like 'Columbine', the school where 13 people where murdered in a mass shooting in 1999. Is this a coincidence? Don't be so naive.
I think that shows how dangerous this man is and God only knows what havoc he would besiege on the country if he should get his grubby, communist hands on the keys to number 10. I hope he is assassinated for the good of the country.
Article contributed by Lord Arthur Toaster-Flange III